InProgress #1

February 9th, 2020 : Body Image, Fashion Upgrades, and NYFW Let’s talk about body image. I struggle with it, you probably struggle with it, someone you know probably struggles with it. It’s become a natural way of life, as sad as that sounds. Recently, I got some photos done by my talented friend Kylie (check out her work below). Every time I shoot with Kylie, I feel beautiful. I can’t say the same for other photographers I’ve shot with. But I always feel good when I model for her. However, every time I get a set of photos back, whether from her or not, I feel self-conscious again. I never seem to truly be happy with them. To me, something is always wrong; my hair fell the wrong way on my face, I look fat or my arms are too chubby, I should’ve parted my hair a different way or done my makeup differently, or maybe I should have smiled or not smiled. There’s something wrong, for sure though. Honestly, I’m very sick of feeling this way. For once, I want to look at photos of myself (that I didn’t take myself) and actually like them. Nevertheless I always end up sharing them with the world anyway. Why is that? Occasionally I’ll share it with my friends or on snapchat and they’ll gas me up, as friends do, and I don’t know what to think. Do I post it? Are they lying? Do they really feel that way or just saying it because I’m their friend? Do I really look like that? You know, the normal sequence of questions we don’t want to ask but do anyway. And then I go on this guilt trip because I love the photographer and the photo itself is spectacular, but the person in it isn’t. How can I see such a beautiful photo, but not the beauty of the person in it? Crazy, I know. My instagram is filled with pictures of myself, ones that were pre-Piper-approved of course. I either took them myself (selfies), or they’re with friends and I probably spent 3 days debating whether or not I was going to post them. Because that’s how my brain works unfortunately. When I look in the mirror, how come I don’t see what I see on camera? Generally, I like what I see in the mirror. When I wake up, have showered and dressed, and then take a look at myself before heading out the door, I usually like what I see. So don’t get me wrong, there are definitely aspects about my body that I like. But I’d be lying if I said I loved them. The “love” part is in progress. Another thing I haven’t been loving is my sense of style lately. I know I can dress. I’ve always been a well-dressed girl, I love fashion and I love styling clothes, it’s part of what makes me who I am. I always tell people if I didn’t pursue music (music business, performing and music therapy) I would’ve pursued fashion designing and business. But lately, I haven’t been loving the clothes I put on my body. I’m sick of the sweater and jeans combo. I’m tired of the graphic tee, cardigan and printed heeled boots. I don’t wanna wear the same thing everyday. I want people to stop telling me “look Piper, I dressed like you today” when they’re wearing jeans, booties, a sweater tucked in and belted. I know I can do better, I just don’t know where to start looking. Some days I look at my closet and see all these clothes I loved at the time I bought them, and want to just throw them all out. I want to start completely over with my sense of fashion and really figure out what I like (on a budget of course. We won’t be breaking the bank on a Gucci belt anytime soon). I know that some people don’t care, or think of clothing as just something we have to do, or as a social elevation platform, I see fashion as a way to express creativity. It's an art. I want to bring back my passion for fashion and my love for things I wear on my body. It’s still unclear how I’m going to launch this journey, but I have some ideas. Everytime I’m home, I try to bring bags of clothing to Plato’s Closet, but as you can probably guess (if you know anything at all about Plato’s) this is usually a dead end and I wind up only $20 richer when I brought in hundreds of dollars worth of clothing. So now I’m taking to the apps (Depop and Poshmark mostly, both are linked), and hoping that this method will work for me since it's so on trend right now. Whatever doesn’t sell, I’ll donate. I just need to get rid of this stuff, honestly. I need to start over. Finding stores that are size inclusive and have the potential to fit my body type are essential...and also hard to find. At the moment, the only store I’ve come to trust is American Eagle and I really only wear their swimsuits and lounge apparel. I’m starting to get more into thrifting, but thrifting is hard for a big girl. Unless I wanna look like Billie Eilish, clonking down the streets of Manhattan in my men’s oversized clothing, thrifting doesn’t usually work for me. I try to avoid fast-fashion companies as I’m recently becoming more and more knowledgeable about these things, but like I said I’m still learning and still finding my style. I am always taking recommendations so please slide in my DMs with companies that are ethical, size inclusive, affordable, and on trend (I know, that’s a lot to ask when such a thing doesn’t really exist yet). In summary, I’ve been struggling with my body image and fashion a lot lately. It’s a feeling that comes out every couple of months and I truly hate it. It definitely doesn’t help that it’s winter and all I want to wear are sweatshirts and leggings. It also doesn’t help that it’s cuffing season, I am uncuffed, and I always figure out a way to blame that on my body. But that’s a conversation for a different day. Remember, we’re in progress. Be kind to yourself today. Piper Page In Progress the Blog

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